Tough Guys Don't Dance (1987)
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Source: JustWatch
Physical Media
Jean-Luc Godard wanted Norman Mailer to write and star in a modern adaptation of King Lear, with Mailer playing a mob boss called Don Learo. Cannon Films offered to finance a movie of Mailer's novel as part of the deal.
Mailer shot one scene of the Lear film, then walked. Godard kept Mailer's brief footage, edited in Mailer's angry voicemail messages, and released his avant-garde King Lear in 1987 - the same year Cannon released Death Wish 4: The Crackdown.
And this thing.
In Norman Mailer's TOUGH GUYS DON'T DANCE (1987), a blocked writer wakes up from a chaotic two-week drinking bender to find a pool of blood in his car. This kicks off a bizarre neo-noir mystery involving a severed head and local police corruption.
Ryan O'Neal plays the writer. Also featured are Isabella Rossellini, Lawrence Tierney, and a score by Angelo Badalamenti the year after he did Blue Velvet. Mailer won the Razzie for Worst Director.
One scene has outlived everything else: O'Neal on a bluff above the dunes, camera spiraling, repeating "oh man, oh God" while his world comes apart. The internet has spent twenty years calling it the worst line reading ever given by an actor.
It was Mailer's idea. The crew begged him to cut it. He regretted not listening to them.
About the Film
A love story haunted by murder.
- Directed By
- Norman Mailer
- Runtime
- 109 minutes
- Released
- September 18, 1987
- Country
- United States of America
- Starring
- Ryan O'Neal, Isabella Rossellini, Debra Stipe, Wings Hauser, John Bedford Lloyd
More Credits
- Genres
- Comedy, Crime, Thriller
- Language
- English
- Origin
- US
- Studios
- Golan-Globus Productions, The Cannon Group, American Zoetrope
- Written By
- Norman Mailer
- Produced By
- Yoram Globus, Menahem Golan, Francis Ford Coppola, Tom Luddy
- Cinematography
- John Bailey
- Music
- Angelo Badalamenti
- Also Starring
- Lawrence Tierney, Penn Jillette, Frances Fisher, John Snyder, Stephan Morrow
- Budget
- $5,000,000
- Box Office
- $858,250
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ONeil tried to ruin Bones too. Terrible actor imho
MAIDSTONE is a fascinating document of Mailer’s grotesque arrogance and lack of aptitude as a director, I’ve been impressed by a couple of his books but man, stay away from cameras, what was he thinking?
Thank you so much for this. I always assumed that that scene with Ryan O’Neill was from one of the borderline amusing parody films like Hot Shots. It’s almost impossible to believe that that was supposed to be a legitimately dramatic reading of that line. 
Love EVERYTHING in this film !!
Actually a decent enough flick, bogged down by one scene imho. I could point to others of this ilk tbh …
The book is as bad as the film.
John MillsI wasn’t able to finish the book, and then I ejected the VHS half way through
The offending scene is the best scene in the film. 😂
Dan Ashley https://youtu.be/i3fqR0yuWoU?is=8sjnkSAz1awiUSZd
Despite those very bad director’s choices, this is a truly great film. The standout kook is Wings Hauser, a B-movie heavy who no doubt also did his fair share of porn films. Some of the dialog is the greatest you will ever hear in a film. John Bedford Lloyd as Southern gentleman Wardley is also just perfect. He’s a man who knows how little his woman thinks of him, but he gets his revenge, which sends him into a depression.
I love this crazy film. Bonkers but great.
I liked it when I saw it and already wasn’t up on O’Neal. I’d take that scene over any O’Neal scene in What’s Up Doc.
Only Cannon would release Street Smart and Barfly the same year as Over the Top and Death Wish 4. Gotta love Golan and Globus. Chuck Norris films subsidized Godard, Altman and Cassavetes films
I enjoy TGDD, I think the trailer for this film is a masterpiece!
To be fair, Ryan O’Neal is the worst Big Name actor in history.
It’s a masterclass in scenery chewing.
It’s a better book, natch
That is one of those movies I own because it’s bad in ways that are extremely entertaining. O’Neal was miscast in general, but no actor could have pulled off that scene.
Do people realize Tough Guys Don’t Dance is a comedy?
Great book, but the movie sucks.
That movie was so lousy if Meryl Streep gave that line it couldnt have been any better than the hapless Ryan O’Neal.
I remember really enjoying reading the book Tough Guys Don’t Dance.
Strange and deliberately funny film, I think?
On one hand, I feel bad for Ryan O’Neal being made to look ridiculous like that.
On the other, everything I’ve read about about Ryan O’Neal as a person is horrific. 🤷♂️
Wow…
Ryan O’ Neal was very good in Walter Hill’s ‘ The Driver.
Should be great. But it’s awful.
Seen it on vhs was a load of forgettable rubbish
Now I gotta see this.
The tragic irony is that all these “bad” movies from the 80’s turn out to at least have a soul!
Movies today have no soul. One after another they are produced in rapid succession.
Like an elephant shitting.
All soulless dogshit.
Even with “A listers” in the cast.
Cinema is dead.
Deeply terrible film
Ryan O’Neal on The Tonight Show: “BARRY LYNDON will be the biggest thing since Gone With the Wind and will make me the King Of Hollywood!”
OP’s note- It was not. It did not.
Wasn’t Mailer the guy who fought Rip Torn for real in a movie? I think Rip hit him with a hammer.
Eroll Xhemaili Yep, while Mailer’s wife and children stood by screaming. The thing is, Mailer TOLD Torn to attack him for real. He didn’t expect the hammer. Real great guys.
This was on every day on HBO in the late ’80s.
I remember the first time I heard the title, thinking “Gene Kelly could kick the shit out of Norman Mailer.”
Norman Mailer was an odd fellow. A gifted writer (mostly) but despicable in all other things.
“Lets’s deep six the heads” – Larry Tierney is hard boiled great in everything…
I remember a discussion about going to “deep six some heads”.
Answering machine messages, I think you mean.
Stanley Kubrick’s wife Christiane said O’Neill ruined Barry Lyndon.