A Zed & Two Noughts

A Zed & Two Noughts (1985)

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A swan crashes through a windshield outside a zoo, kills two women, and sets their widowed husbands on a shared path toward decay, decomposition, and the paintings of Vermeer.

A ZED & TWO NOUGHTS (1985) follows twin zoologists Oswald and Oliver Deuce, played by real-life twins Brian and Eric Deacon. Grief curdles into obsession. The brothers begin filming the time-lapse rot of animal carcasses, working up the evolutionary ladder from an apple to a zebra. At the same time, both fall for Alba Bewick, the surviving driver, played by Andréa Ferréol. Alba loses one leg in the crash and later has the other removed for the sake of symmetry.

Peter Greenaway directs from his own script, staging every frame like a painting, obsessed with symmetry, decay, and the Dutch masters. Gerard Thoolen plays Van Meegeren, the Vermeer-obsessed surgeon who wields the saw. Joss Ackland plays the zoo's keeper, and Frances Barber plays a woman literally named Venus de Milo. Sacha Vierny's photography and Michael Nyman's score give the whole thing the precision of clockwork.

It is a film about death as process rather than event, shot with the cold symmetry of a diagram. Greenaway treats the body, animal or human, as something to be studied, timed, and composed. Few films have made rot look this beautiful, or this funny.

Physical Media

DVDUnited KingdomRegion PAL2004

Adam added 9/24/2026 · edited 10/8/2026

Blu-rayKino LorberUnited KingdomRegion PAL2004

Adam added 9/24/2026 · edited 10/8/2026

About the Film

Directed By
Peter Greenaway
Runtime
116 minutes
Released
October 4, 1985
US Theatrical
May 25, 1990
Certification
NR
Country
Netherlands, United Kingdom
Starring
Frances Barber, Joss Ackland, Brian Deacon, Geoffrey Palmer, Eric Deacon
More Credits
Genres
Comedy, Drama
Language
English
Origin
GB
Studios
Allarts Enterprises, VPRO
Written By
Peter Greenaway
Produced By
Peter Sainsbury, Kees Kasander
Cinematography
Sacha Vierny
Music
Michael Nyman
Also Starring
Andréa Ferréol, Jim Davidson, Wolf Kahler, Ken Campbell, Guusje van Tilborgh
Budget
$650,000

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Comments

    1. Kenneth James I liked “Drowning by Numbers” better, but I think I’ve seen “Draughtsman’s Contract” the most.

      Still don’t know what was happening, lol, but the segues between the drawings and gardens are so amazing.

      My fine art class in university went on a Greenway binge back around 1990.